(I wrote this a few months ago. I intended on sharing it but things got bad again and it got lost in a pile of other posts. I decided to share it now because, it outlines the situation and I will post more on it in the future.)
I have plunged into another depression because of this idea. I feel like a failure and like I shouldn’t be writing any of this because ‘how dare I say a person should escape abuse’ when I can’t even do it myself. One of my current roommates, the only one still here, as all the others moved out is a verbally abusive person. He has threatened to hit me repeatedly, thrown stuff at me and tries to kick me out of the kitchen even if I’m in there first. I took a lot of the abuse until he kicked my dog. Then I called my landlord. The problem is he is only like this when we are alone, with one exception when he girl friend was present. It is basically his word against mine and because I’m not a personable person, because I’m shy and don’t remember faces my landlords don’t believe me.
Two it took two months for them to tell me I had to file a restraining order on him in order to get out of the lease.
My therapist had told me to do it months earlier. When things weren’t that bad. I thought eh.. its good for me having to listen to his verbal abuse will make me a stronger person. Him insulting and threatening me allow me to more easily pass by somebody on the street or handle a rude coworker or a client when I still thought I had a chance at being a nursing assistant. But now especially since I started writing more frequently I see it the opposite. He must too. Things have continued to get worse and worse the only reason I can think to explain that is he thinks I’m week an can get away with it. He thinks i won’t do anything about it. He has been gone for a few days, which has been nice. I’m not afraid to be in my own apartment.
(I have left this living situation and am now living with a friend. I didn’t file the restringing order, and therefore continued to pay the rent but things are better now.)