Weekly Photo Challenge: My Christmas portrait

Holiday Sadness

Holiday Sadness. Experiencing loneliness sitting by my tree.


Weekly Photo Challenge (Waiting for Transition in my Closet)

Blurry Closet

My Closet is Blurry

This weeks challenge is a picture that demonstrates waiting. I choose a blurry picture of my closet. That picture embodies waiting for me because in many ways I waited way too long for transition, I knew I was going to before I enlisted but I choose to wait because I was not yet ready to accept who I was, like wise when I left the service I was not ready. Unfortunately it took my fathers death for me to realize there is no such thing as being ready for transition, or let me rephrase that, the only correct time is right now. I feared my family would abandon. I feared my community would make me an outcast. I was wrong. I don’t know your situation, but I believe that every situation can be changed, if it really is your community move. If it is your wife or your family and they love you they will stand by you, though testing that may be hard. My dad and all his siblings died before the age of sixty. I was approaching my later twenties and realized I had already lived half of my families life expectancy. I could not wait any longer.

Another reason I choose the blurry picture of my closet was that I wish while I was waiting I had discovered what made a good wardrobe and had invested in that instead of most of the stuff that I had bought. You might say but.. but I don’t know what size I am, or what size I will be when I begin transition. I now say neither of those matter. First either order off the internet or drive to a town a few hours away. If you end up with something in the wrong size  most places will take it back, if they don’t that is okay too, it sucks you spent the money but save it. When you do start transition and it is a good quality piece of clothing, consignment shops will buy it for you sometimes they will only give you store credit but hey then you get to do more shopping. I’d love to go more into what makes a good wardrobe but, I am still discovering that. just Google around a little and you’ll find more information that I could possible give you. Maybe pick up a magazine in Wal-Mart next time 😉 its for your girlfriend, or sister.

Weekly Photo Challenge: My Family is like a herd of Elephants!

Family  is the weekly photo challenge. A few weeks ago I watched a nature documentary, one of the scenes in the movie is of a herd of elephants that are dying of thirst. Among them are calves having a hard time keeping up. Despite the danger the mothers slow down risking getting lost and their own lives to ensure the safety of their young.


Image provided by: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net link to site on bottom of page.

This idea of family is very personal because a little over a year ago one of my sisters moved across the country. She spent a year living here. It was one of the more amazing things people have done for me. She and her boyfriend move from northern California to Minnesota. This was not something I asked for and when it happened I did not appreciate it. No matter how cliché it is to say it was not until they were packing to leave that I began to understand.

The last few years have been kind of hard for me. After my father’s death the pain of living as somebody I didn’t identify with became too difficult but I hated myself so much I believed my family would not accept me as a woman. I moved to a place I would not see any family or friends that might ask about family. This was hard because before we would talk multiple times per week. Considering how we separated when growing up (foster homes) we had good relationships something we worked hard to maintain. Since I have slowly drifted. I love them but have begun to find it difficult to re-implement them into my life. I was so ready for them to abandon me when they didn’t I automatically did it to them.

My sister quit a job she loved packed up her boyfriend, who still needed to finish grad school and moved across the country for me. Why? I still ask myself this question. But the answer is: To help me to catch up. To give me a chance. To show me how much my family cares about me. This is the first time I’ve acknowledged it outside my head.  Thank you.

Image: africa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Weekly Photo Challenge: My typical Breakfast!

My Breakfast Feast

I eat this or some similar variation of this every morning. I am not actually a foot ball fan It was just what I grabbed.

Here it is my daily breakfast. One egg with a small hand full of chopped vegetable and cheese, pancakes with sugar-free syrup, cereal with a table-spoon of ground flax-seed and vanilla almond milk, a fruit smoothie, tea, and a glass of water.

Yesterday I finally paid a visit to the Daily post I keep reading about it and thought hey maybe I should look at it. I think using it for posting everyday might be a little too much for me especially since I want to blog about my own stuff but their weekly photo challenge looks like a thing to add to my blog. It will add a variation that most won’t exist otherwise and it will hopefully cause me to stretch my creative mind. I’m not sure this one does it but…

This is breakfast, nearly every morning. As I said above I eat my egg with a vegetable, usually it is broccoli but I’ve used brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage and even kale. Broccoli, what I used today are my favorite but brussels sprouts are pretty awesome too. Today I had blue berry pancakes, but I prefer the buttermilk. I just don’t want to get tired of them so I mix it up. I must have tea every morning, Earl grey is like captain Picard my favorite but I drink a lot of just plain black tea. My smoothies vary on what I have in the fridge, I try to vary it as much as possible, once a month I buy some strawberries or grapes, but typically they are a variation of apples, oranges, bananas or pears with apple juice or almond milk if I’m out of juice, I’ve also used water. This smoothie was one apple and one orange with about a half a cup of apple juice.  My cereal I try to vary also this week I’m enjoying Island Vanilla whole wheat biscuits from Kashi, which are really good. If a person watches for sales Kashi is about the same price as any other name brand cereal, but I’ve been a little more happy with what I’ve gotten, the one with Currents are my favorite. Due to being a sudo vegetarian or a pescetarian I add the Flax seed to help boost my healthy fat intake, there really isn’t a taste associated with it, I’ve tried it in my smoothies many times, it changed the texture in a good way but it made doing the dishes a lot more difficult so I just leave it in my cereal. This is a wonderful breakfast that really gets me ready for a long day. Since adding the Flax seed I’ve found that I can now skip a meal every once in a while without problems however I try really hard not to do that. Because of the size and nutritional content my meals throughout the day do not have to be much more than a snack. Try it this is a great meal.