Something I don’t understand

I just had a conversation with my sister about somebody and this situation really hurt her feelings so it is not something I can ask her without her feeling like I’m taking another person’s side. I’ve googled this question repeatedly and gotten nothing to help me understand. so I’m going to ask the world if they can explain

For more than two years I’ve been hearing people talk about how annoying it is to talk to somebody and have them pull out their cell phones send a text and carry on the conversation like nothing happened. Sometimes the same people who I have seen do it to me. A person will pull out their phone read a text, sometimes laugh send a reply and then carry on the conversation like it never happened. A week or month later that person will go on for 25 minutes about how somebody did it to them and they felt it was disrespectful.

Am I desensitized to it because I used to be so desperate for friends that I was able to dismiss that type of behavior as normal? I never used to do it, but after hearing one particular friend go on about it several times she did it to me. I called her on it but it was dismissed, so I did it somewhat consciously a little later and I started to do it occasionally though lately it has been harder because I haven’t been able to keep my prepay phone in service, so it is just being used as an internet/ google voice phone and it only works while connected to a wifi and it seem to be only about 75 percent of wifi’s let my android connect to them. Anyways the situation with her made me feel like; hey this is what I should do. it was months before I heard NPR talk about it and much longer before I heard others. So the other day I connect to my brothers WIFI I receive a text and I thought I sent one. Though my phone has no memory of me sending it and an hour later my phone wouldn’t connect. I found this upsetting because I was missing a few friends really bad and just wanted to exchange a text or two about how their days were going. I couldn’t and this upset me. I spent an hour trying to fix it, logged into my brothers router and missed a really great outing with my nephews as a result. I was somewhat conscious of how antisocial I was being with my family  but I wanted to send a text to make sure my friends were still alive and okay so bad that I didn’t care if I missed out on a few conversations with the family that has ignored me off and on for years.

I typically feel like either a person is trying to teach me that it is okay or that it isn’t. I think in general it is okay for somebody to do it. Middle of a funeral or a serious talk about a relationship NO, gossiping about the annoying dog that lives across the street or spending an entire day with your family for a holiday celebration and yes, send that funny reply to that text you received two hours ago. What is wrong with that? I can’t stick with one conversation for more than a few minutes anyways so the way I see it is that it gives me the ability to stay on topic longer by taking a small break in the middle of something else.

 

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