Family is the weekly photo challenge. A few weeks ago I watched a nature documentary, one of the scenes in the movie is of a herd of elephants that are dying of thirst. Among them are calves having a hard time keeping up. Despite the danger the mothers slow down risking getting lost and their own lives to ensure the safety of their young.
This idea of family is very personal because a little over a year ago one of my sisters moved across the country. She spent a year living here. It was one of the more amazing things people have done for me. She and her boyfriend move from northern California to Minnesota. This was not something I asked for and when it happened I did not appreciate it. No matter how cliché it is to say it was not until they were packing to leave that I began to understand.
The last few years have been kind of hard for me. After my father’s death the pain of living as somebody I didn’t identify with became too difficult but I hated myself so much I believed my family would not accept me as a woman. I moved to a place I would not see any family or friends that might ask about family. This was hard because before we would talk multiple times per week. Considering how we separated when growing up (foster homes) we had good relationships something we worked hard to maintain. Since I have slowly drifted. I love them but have begun to find it difficult to re-implement them into my life. I was so ready for them to abandon me when they didn’t I automatically did it to them.
My sister quit a job she loved packed up her boyfriend, who still needed to finish grad school and moved across the country for me. Why? I still ask myself this question. But the answer is: To help me to catch up. To give me a chance. To show me how much my family cares about me. This is the first time I’ve acknowledged it outside my head. Thank you.