A week ago I started taking classes to become a nursing assistant in hopes of getting a better job. Is going okay, I’m still motivated to study but I’m terrified that will become harder to keep up with. I need to do well. I must get good grades.
The new year is a good time to make changes in the way a person lives their life. I mean like the spring I think the new year signifies birth and beginning a new, but I’m always working on myself trying to make me a better person. One that more closely resembles the image I have created in my head. All year long I work to realize myself. I don’t want to pick one day every year to evaluate and to make changes to my personal goals. It does happen that goals are evaluated on days. Days like my birthday, independence day, labor-day or thanksgiving (and yes those are in order) but all of those are relatively arbitrary days chosen by our society to signify things important to us for other reasons and holding one of those days above the rest is setting yourself up for failure and I often want to tell people and sometimes do.
The thing is that I stop at least once a week and look at who I am and what I have done to either move forward or what I have done that moved me backwards. I don’t dwell but being aware of subtle changes makes moving in the right direction easier and gives me more confidence because I know week to week where I’ve been successful.
I just had a conversation with my sister about somebody and this situation really hurt her feelings so it is not something I can ask her without her feeling like I’m taking another person’s side. I’ve googled this question repeatedly and gotten nothing to help me understand. so I’m going to ask the world if they can explain
For more than two years I’ve been hearing people talk about how annoying it is to talk to somebody and have them pull out their cell phones send a text and carry on the conversation like nothing happened. Sometimes the same people who I have seen do it to me. A person will pull out their phone read a text, sometimes laugh send a reply and then carry on the conversation like it never happened. A week or month later that person will go on for 25 minutes about how somebody did it to them and they felt it was disrespectful.
Am I desensitized to it because I used to be so desperate for friends that I was able to dismiss that type of behavior as normal? I never used to do it, but after hearing one particular friend go on about it several times she did it to me. I called her on it but it was dismissed, so I did it somewhat consciously a little later and I started to do it occasionally though lately it has been harder because I haven’t been able to keep my prepay phone in service, so it is just being used as an internet/ google voice phone and it only works while connected to a wifi and it seem to be only about 75 percent of wifi’s let my android connect to them. Anyways the situation with her made me feel like; hey this is what I should do. it was months before I heard NPR talk about it and much longer before I heard others. So the other day I connect to my brothers WIFI I receive a text and I thought I sent one. Though my phone has no memory of me sending it and an hour later my phone wouldn’t connect. I found this upsetting because I was missing a few friends really bad and just wanted to exchange a text or two about how their days were going. I couldn’t and this upset me. I spent an hour trying to fix it, logged into my brothers router and missed a really great outing with my nephews as a result. I was somewhat conscious of how antisocial I was being with my family but I wanted to send a text to make sure my friends were still alive and okay so bad that I didn’t care if I missed out on a few conversations with the family that has ignored me off and on for years.
I typically feel like either a person is trying to teach me that it is okay or that it isn’t. I think in general it is okay for somebody to do it. Middle of a funeral or a serious talk about a relationship NO, gossiping about the annoying dog that lives across the street or spending an entire day with your family for a holiday celebration and yes, send that funny reply to that text you received two hours ago. What is wrong with that? I can’t stick with one conversation for more than a few minutes anyways so the way I see it is that it gives me the ability to stay on topic longer by taking a small break in the middle of something else.
It was delicious. I’m home for Christmas visiting my parents and extended family. I’ve been here for days with little to do but hunt for jobs online and the new browser game called Forge of Empires I got addicted to. anyways this feels more like a facebook status than a blog post but at least it is a post.
Get a magnetic board I liked the 4 dollar white board from Walgreens, though it didn’t come with good mounting hardware. And I wish it were a slightly better size, but in my space the larger one didn’t fit.
Glue magnets to the bottom of compacts, powder foundations and eye shadows or what ever you want to put up. I got nine from Hancock Fabrics for about 3.50 though a larger size would have been nice. The larger size were the same price but you got fewer. I also used the ones that came with the white board on the markers for my much larger white board in my bedroom.
I’ve had this blog for a few years only posting a total of 25 times. I’m unemployed right now but I bet shortly after I start working I forget about it again.
I like to keep a magazine or two in the bathroom. But laying on the floor they are so far away from me, not to mention how gross they can get, Magazine holders are hard to find in thrift stores and expensive even if you do find one. Here is one I built for almost nothing.
I bought a set of three cloth boxes at the local dollar store for $6.50 used a piece of cardboard and an old dish towel that I had lying around. I also used about 18 inches of ribbon, several sticks of hot glue and two knives one for cutting and one for poking holes.
Get a piece of sturdy cardboard and cut it to fit inside the box leaving a flap at the bottom to be glued to the floor of the box. Cut two holes where you want the ribbon to be run through. Then neatly fold the towel around the cardboard and hot glue it in place. Glue the cardboard into the cloth box with the towel covering the flap of cardboard running along the base of the box and cut and poke holes in the box and cardboard and tie a piece of ribbon to hold upright. Here is the Finished Product:
I turned Cheer Bear to face me. The three inch tall, while sitting, pink Care Bear faces me to cheer me on, to shoot rainbows into my day and make me a brighter person. She sits below my monitor beside my computer on the hand-me down bookshelf that has past from one sibling to another. It’s been redesigned recently to give me a typing shelf just below where the monitor and computer sit. I try to keep it clean but I’ve been doing my nails while watching Hulu. So there is acrylic powder, primer and white OPI nail lacquer and top coat sitting amongst the tapered Acrylic brush, a small hand full of cotton balls and four nail files covered by the ruler I picked up off the floor to measure Cheer Bear.
The vacuum I traded my dead grandfathers 1911 limited edition .22 for is in the corner behind my makeshift desk. It is beside a my computer speakers a small pile of cables and a tube of glow sticks I’ve had for over a year. a cloth box with the rest of my nail care stuff sits on top of the vacuum. Boy I feel like I should clean instead of write but I won’t sit back down.
To the right of my desk is my laser printer, buried by a pile of bras, which doubles as the a book-end. A few copies of Elle magazine, one of Cosmo another of Instyle droop between it and the wall. I got three pairs of knee high boots with in an arms reach. I used to say that I was messy my bed room is always messy but I cleaned it the other day and now I’ve come to realize it’s just a little cluttered yeah that is a good word to describe my space, cluttered. Cheer bear is rubbing off.
I just finished an episode of The Colbert Report. There was a lot of discussion on gun control. There has been, since December. Why? There were two mass shootings and the James Holmes’s trial began (suspect from the movie theater shooting). Colbert’s interview was with Piers Morgan who is a CNN news for getting rid of all the guns in the US. During the interview he said that there were less than 35 gun deaths in England every year and 13,000 in the US. The united states has 6 times the population which means that if the percentage of gun deaths were the same there would be either 1,500 in England or if we had the same percentage in the US as England has there would be 210 in the US. Those are big differences. Decreased from 13,000 to 210 gun deaths in the US every year that is less than 2.5 percent of what we have today. Initially the number might go up, and it will take time, say 15 years before the number bottoms out but even if it takes 20 years and there are still 1,000 every year even being someone who used to hunt and still owns four guns come take’m. Please, just give me a few dollars for them when I turn them in.
Well about a year ago I took a job caring for people with disabilities. It was fun it paid well and I’m sure it was the best job I’ve ever had. But a few months ago chasing the dollar I took a second job work in a nursing home. Due to the extra hours I was let go at the first employer. A few weeks later I choose to leave the second because it was not a place I would work for the long term and was the cause of being fired at the other place. I feel bad now because I have no income but I’ve been working really hard on my business The Puppy Fort working so much led to me not writing for months, I wanted to the entire time but my bed being right behind me when I’m on the computer makes it easy for me to crawl in when I’m tired, when working 70 hours a week I’m always tired. so I was lucky if I got through a half-hour of my favorite show. Let alone typing for an hour everyday. Well I think I’m back for good, hopefully at least for a few months. But cross your fingers for me getting a earning a job, that will leave me time to work on my other endeavours.